What is trench composting?

Trench composting is simply the act of burying stuff that will compost. Many people make compost in compost bins, but with trench composting - every garden bed is a potential compost bin. This is where the trench comes in: everything gets buried, and eventually, it all breaks down.

How is it done?

A trench is dug, often the length of the garden bed, that will be deep enough to have at least 6 inches of soil on top of all the material that will be composted. I usually go 12” deep or more. Then, everything than can be found that will compost - including weeds - goes in the trench.

Next, you trample everything down, then add a layer of soil, then trample that down, and then finally fill it all back in and smooth out the soil to have the bed ready from planting.

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What are the benefits?

Trench composting can bring the soil level of a bed up an inch or more depending on how much material is added to the trench. It is also a great way to make all that garden waste disappear. Finally, and especially in the case of pulled weeds, all the soil that is attached to the weeds tends to be fairly rich soil due to the fact that weeds, like all plants, have “root exudates” (organic compounds like sugars that are secreted into the soil), which enhance the soil quality and attract soil organisms. All of that goes in the trench and eventually, through the activity of soil organisms, improves the soil in the bed.

Will the weeds grow?

Some weeds (e.g. Japanese knotweed, coltsfoot, and goutweed) are remarkably tenacious and will find a way back up to the surface despite having been buried six inches deep or more, but most weeds cant punch their way through that much soil. If you are unsure, put all your weeds in water for a few days and let them drown before trench composting (warning - they will smell like death if you leave them too long); or, spread them out on a tarp in full sun for a few days before burying (same idea, just less smelly). If you are unsure of anything - don’t bury it!

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What if animals dig it up?

Having animals find compost and dig it up is always a risk - but generally speaking, the deeper the stuff is buried, the less likely that is to happen. Honestly, I can’t recall the last time I had this problem.

How long does it take for everything to break down?

With the exception of logs and other things that break down slowly, most types of plant matter break down in a matter of months depending on temperature, moisture levels, and depth. With that having been said - it really doesn’t matter because this is something you tend to do only once a year - so by the following spring it will all be gone.

Final thoughts

Burying stuff. It’s the oldest trick in the book for getting rid of something you don’t want. In many cases - figuratively, psychologically, and even practically - this is a bad idea, but when it comes to trench composting, it’s a great idea! Don’t like weeding? Need closure? This spring, bury your garden waste and forget it was ever there.

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Watch me do it:

The first time I tried it I was mystified. It tastes nothing like tomatoes - and with cream cheese icing it is effectively like a spiced carrot cake without all the work. Here’s to to make it:

• Combine the dry ingredients and mix with a whisk until they are al the same color

• Combine the wet ingredients and mix with a whisk until uniform

• Add wet to dry, whisk vigorously for about a minute

• Pour into greased loaf pan

• Bake at 355F for 50 minutes

• Test for doneness with skewer

• Let cool for a couple hours, then ice with cream cheese icing or glaze

Cream Cheese icing:
1/2 cup cream cheese, softened
1/4 cup butter, softened
1 1/2 - 2 cups icing sugar
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

• Place butter, vanilla and cream cheese in bowl and whisk until combines

• Gradually add icing sugar until it forms and hold soft peaks

• Let sit for 30 minutes then spread on cake.

Why this works

This recipe produces a moist, flavorful, spicy cake. I have no idea why it does not taste like tomatoes but it must have something to do with the sugar, spices and the reaction of the baking soda with the acidity of the tomato soup. In terms of variations - it works just fine with no raisins at all - and for those who love nuts in cake, feel free to add walnuts or pecans or whatever else you like in cakes. If you like things even spicier - I like to add an additional 1 tsp of Jamaican all spice. That might sound a little zippy, but in my mind it’s a direct flight to flavor country. Give it a try and let me know what you think!

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Here’s a video onhow to make it:

What is “early season”?

The challenge with an ambiguous term like “early” is that it can mean many things. For the sake of this article - I am using the term to refer to the part of the season when the soil temperatures are very low - such that only a handful of things will grow. Rather than referring to a specific soil temperature - since they are highly variable both in terms of location and time of day - I will instead refer to a soil temperature indicator - the dandelion. I have mentioned this before, so will not go into the details, but I consider “early season” when you start seeing dandelion greens begin to grow. For me this is usually at the beginning of April. Dandelion roots are about a foot deep - so if they are growing it means that the soil has gotten warm enough for them to break dormancy. They are one of the earliest tings to grow (but not “THE” earliest) - so I consider them a reasonably good indicator of the accumulated heat in soils.

It’s all about “Minimum Germination Temperatures”

Every seed has a minimum soil temperature that it needs to begin germination. Some seeds can get things started when it is barely above freezing - whereas others need much more heat.

Scanning the chart above, we can identify three crops as having the lowest minimum germination temperatures (35F): lettuce, onion, parsnips and spinach. For early season gardeners - those plants are the only game in town when it comes to germination from direct seeding1. These are what I plant when I see dandelion greens emerging on various parts of my property. There are also a handful of other weeds growing at this time, and some of my garlic have usually just started poking their heads out of the ground.

Next up are all the vegetables that have a minimum germination temperature of 40F. According to the table above - we are talking about beets, cabbages, carrots, cauliflower, chard, parsley, peas, radish and turnip. These are what I plant when I see yellow dandelion flowers, BUT, any of these can be started a little earlier so long as they are under a microclimate of some kind. They can also be started outdoors in transplanting trays, under plastic or glass, so long as they are not peas, beets, carrots, or turnip - which do not generally transplant well2. I currently have half a dozen tiny greens started in my driveway in this manner.

Final Thoughts

Many people get overwhelmed by the time they finally get around to putting in a garden, and that makes sense if that means trying to plant everything all at once. It’s like trying to eat an elephant - but as that old saying goes - it’s best done one bite at a a time. By getting a few things started early in the season - all the tasks become much more spaced out, allowing them to be handled in little dribs and drabs.

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When I was a kid, bottled water was not a thing you could buy anywhere. Now it is a thing you can buy - it is a commodity. Walking used to just be a way to get from one place to another. Now, some people join walking clubs, buy special walking shoes, buy special walking clothes, etc. Walking is a commodity. A conversation used to be something you had with a friend, colleague, coworker or acquaintance. Neanderthals had conversations before currency existed. Now you can have one - for a price - with a therapist, or a life coach, or a personal trainer; or, you can listen to one between two people (podcast), whilst it is peppered with ads; or even better, you can listen to a conversation between two people and pay to ask them questions in real time during that conversation as it is aired on YouTube. A conversation is a commodity.

Time is a commodity

Time has been a commodity ever since wage-earning became an aspect of human relations — but I think something happened in recent years that has changed the way we view personal time (your time when you are not working).

Each and every one of us has 24 hours a day. Some of that time is spent at work. Some of it is spent performing unavoidable tasks (bathing, cleaning, commuting, cooking, etc.). Some of it is spent sleeping. And then, for those who are fortunate enough to have it, there is the time left-over. This “surplus time” can be called personal time, spare time, down-time, or leisure time. We all use it differently. We all have different priorities.

A recent (2024) Bureau of Labor Statistics Time Use Survey indicates that Americans have an average of 5.07 hours a day for “leisure and sports” which includes “socializing and communicating”, “watching television”, “participating in sports”, “exercise”, and “recreation”.1 That is a lot of time. Added up over the course of a week, that is about 35 hours. Most of us most likely spend that time doing a little bit of everything — a little social media, a little exercise of some kind, maybe watch a show, maybe meet a friend, maybe just stare off into space or take a little nap, etc. All of that helps us unwind and recover from the day’s challenges.

But some of us can turn that time into money.

A lawyer can charge anything from $200 to $1000 an hour depending on the firm, the specialty, and the situation. So a lawyer who makes $600/hr can turn that 5 hours of leisure into $3,000. Other professions, like consultants, offer similar opportunities to earn considerable amounts of money. Of course there are also opportunities to work overtime for many of us, and a whole new host of online, work-at-home gig-jobs for extra cash offering varying ranges of remuneration.

In effect, we are gradually becoming coaxed into the mentality that any use of personal time that is not being commodified poses a potential opportunity cost2. This way of thinking about time has somehow become pervasive in our culture.

What does all of this have to do with gardening?

When people find out that I have a big garden, a comment I often get is, “Okay, so you grow a lot of vegetables—but what about all the time you spend in the garden?”

This is a natural question for anyone to ask - but within that question there are implicit assumptions about the concepts mentioned above (value, opportunity costs, commodities, etc.).

Strangely, I never get asked that same question when I say I took a nice long walk; or watched a good movie, or went to bed early. For some reason, time spent in the garden is viewed as a potential commodity, whereas time spent doing other things is not.

My best guess for why this happens is that most people see gardening as work, whereas they do not see things like running, or walking, or cycling as work. Of course - as any high school physics student could tell you - it’s all work, since work is the transfer of energy that occurs when a force causes an object to move a certain distance. But work has other meanings, and other implied meanings - and I think the implied meaning at play here is work in the four-letter-word sense that “WORK” is stuff you don’t want to do that you have to do.

I think we all have an an internal budget for how much stuff we are willing to do that we don’t want to do. For many of us, most of that budget is probably blown doing our day-jobs, then when we get home, we are running on fumes and squeeze out whatever is left on cleaning, cooking, etc.

So for most people, gardening is work with a capital “W“. Work that is to be avoided. Work that just is not worth one’s valuable time if all it produces is a few carrots and tomatoes.

But your time isn’t worth anything. You throw it away all the time. There’s five hours of potential value every day (on average), and most of us blow it on Netflix, Twitter AKA “X”, Snapchat, Instagram, YouTube, and Facebook. We blow it lifting weights, jogging, running, walking the dog, yoga, and tai chi. We blow it meditating, reading and staring off into space. We blow it on puzzles, sudokus, stamp collections and “scrapbooking”. We blow it all over the place, and never think twice about it. We blow it and we feel good about it.

Well I always feel good when I blow time in the garden. And if I wasn’t blowing it in the garden, I would be blowing it doing something else. I find it so liberating to divorce myself from this hamster-wheel mentality about time. Yes, it is precious. Yes we only have so much — but it is ours. My God, it’s one of the few damn things we have left in this world and it’s good see it as something that is not for sale. It’s good to spend it however we choose. It’s good to give it freely to others. And it is good to spend it outdoors in the garden.

Final Thoughts

Gardening season is right around the corner. Many people view it as time doing the four-letter-word kind of work — but they have it all wrong. It is just time spent doing something healthy and worthwhile that results in food — and even when the result is complete failure — it is still time well spent, because it was spent in the manner of your choosing. Don’t fall into the trap of commodifying your time. Blow some time in the garden — it feels good!

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Here’s a video where I blow some time in the garden!

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It is winter. Spring is right around the corner and you want to have a garden when that happens - so you have a decision to make: do I grow my own transplants indoors, or do I just buy them when it’s time to plant? The answer depends on many factors. In this article I try to lay it all out to help those with transplants on the brain.

Why do gardens need transplants?

The main reason gardeners use transplants is to compensate for a short growing season. This can help to protect tender vegetables like tomatoes (which are actually tropical plants) from cold nights, cold soil and frosts which can damage or kill them. It can also help plants that need a long time to mature by buying them an extra month of growing time. Finally, it can allow for a head start, such that harvests can be made earlier than would otherwise be the case if they were simply direct-seeded outdoors.

Is transplanting needed to have a good garden?

The necessity of transplants is all a question of what is being grown. If a gardener wants to grow beans, potatoes, spinach, lettuce, carrots and beets - then starting tham as transplants would be ridiculous. All of those things can be direct seeded and grow fast; moreover all of those things except the lettuce do not tend to transplant well. If, on the other hand, a gardener wants tomatoes, peppers, eggplant or other heat-loving vegetables, then transplants will likely be needed. Also, some things take a long time to grow - like onions, so they need to be started early, or planted as “sets”1.

Should I grow or buy them?

So we have established that not everything needs to be started indoors, and that some things do better when started in the ground - but for all the things that either need to be started early indoors (e.g. tomatoes, peppers, eggplant, basil, onions), or don’t need to be started early but transplant well (e.g. lettuce, kale, Swiss chard, collards, broccoli), we are still left with the decision of whether to grow or buy. As with many tough decisions - a consideration of pros and cons can help bring clarity.

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Pros of Growing

• Greater choice in plants and varieties. Garden centers only carry a small variety of transplants, but usually offer a wide variety of seeds. Look along the seeds aisle and there might be twenty or thirty varieties of tomato - but among the transplants there might only be five.
• Uses less seeds. Direct-seeding in the ground tends to use a lot of seeds because the lack of control over the growing conditions (heat/pests/moisture) tends to result in higher variability in germination and plant viability. When starting indoors, everything is under control - so less seeds are needed. This means that one pack of seeds might be enough for three years of planting, especially when using the baggie method to start seeds.
• Costs less, especially if you need a lot of transplants. When you buy transplants, you are paying for the labor that was needed to grow them - so the markup on a per-plant basis is substantial. A pack of 200 kale seeds might cost $3.99, whereas a tray of six kale plants might cost about the same - so that is about 2 cents per seed vs 67 cents per transplant. That adds up when you are growing a lot of vegetables
• A fun project and cure for late winter blues. Many gardeners start going a little batty in late winter. For such people, some early signs of growth and renewal and be uplifting.
• A sense of satisfaction from growing your own. One of the great things about gardening is that it is an exercise in self sufficiency. Knowing that you have the ability to take seeds, get them germinated, and nurture them along to the point of harvest can be a tremendous source of satisfaction.

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Cons of Growing

• Tedious and time consuming. Starting transplants indoors requires almost three months of constant monitoring and attention to detail.
• Equipment and accoutrements needed. The setup can be as simple as a few trays in a window, some seeds and some soil - to an elaborate indoor greenhouse with lights and fans and special soil amendments.
• No room for error. All the inputs (sun/heat/water/nutrients) are provided by the gardener. Too much or too little of anything can spell doom. A lot of time and effort can go down the drain overnight or in a mater of days.
• Aggravating hardening-off process. Plants started indoors cannot handle direct sunlight or the temperature extreme of the outdoors. “Hardening-off” is needed to help them acclimatize - and this takes patience and time - and it is easy to mess up. Last year I lost 16 basil plants in one night due to inattention. Two months of effort gone - and no time machine to try again.

Pros of Buying

• Great for perennials. Many perennials are hard to get started, especially herbs. Since perennials grow for years, the initial cost of buying transplants is recovered by multiple harvests over time. Almost all of my perennials were transplanted.
• Great if you only need a few. Six tomato plants can cost as much as a pack of tomato seeds, so for those with small gardens it may cost about the same to just use transplants.
• Saves a lot of time and effort. Bought transplants have been well cared for and are (usually) already hardened off. They are ready to go when you buy them.
• Great for beginners. Buy them, stick them in the ground and BAM - instant garden! Sometimes getting started can be overwhelming. This is a great way to make it easy.
• Varieties for sale are often popular ones that do well in your area. Not sure what to plant? Let an expert make those decisions. A good garden center will listen to feedback from gardeners and offer proven performers.

Cons of Buying

• Less variety. Transplants take up space - so garden centers have limits of how many varieties they can offer. There is something like 10,000 types of tomato. A garden center might have about fifty types of seeds (Veseys has about sixty) - but they typically don’t have more than ten types of tomato - and it’s usually more like five.
• Can be costly if you need a lot of plants. Seeds are cheaper than transplants. For anything you intend to grow in larger numbers, it is much more cost effective to grow your own.
• It doesn’t make sense for everything. Some plants don’t transplant well (e.g. spinach), or at all (e.g. carrots), and some are so easy to grow (e.g. peas) that transplanting makes no sense.

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Final Thoughts

I usually take a position in my articles because I am so tired of authors that say things like, “whatever works for you is what is best”, but for this one it really does depend. What do you want to grow? How much of it you need? How much space do you have indoors for transplants? How much choice do you want in terms of varieties? How much do you want to spend? How much patience and time do you have for growing transplants? These are all questions that need to be considered when deciding whether to grow or buy. Still, the ultimate goal each year is to have a great garden, so if buying transplants gets you there, then do it - and if you like growing your own, then do that. Personally, I only start a few things indoors (tomatoes, peppers, eggplant, and maybe onions) and if everything goes wrong, then I buy them. Everything else is started outdoors. I have limited space indoors in terms of South-facing window sills, and absolutely no patience for grow-light setups. It’s simple and it works for me, despite having a large garden - but many others take a different approach. What do you prefer? Please let me know in the comments and tell me why.

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Here’s a video I did with Robert Pavlis about transplanting myths:

I have been making these biscuits for years, and I call them tea biscuits - but they are actually (technically) scones. Regardless of what you call them - they are a family favorite and are so good with a little tea and jam! Here’s how to make them:

Ingredients

Directions:

1. Combine all dry ingredients with a whisk or fork.

2. Add butter to dry ingredients and “cut in” with pastry cutter, or fork and knife, or or finger tips1. You can use also hard margarine for this, or even soft margarine works - but the best results in terms of texture and flavor are with cold butter.

3. Mix the egg and milk together, then add to the flour mixture. Mix just until it is fully combined - do not over mix as that will make them less fluffy.

4. Place on baking sheet using any of the following techniques: (1) Scoop 12 heaping teaspoonfuls onto a greased pan for random shapes (fast and easy). (2) Gingerly form into 12 balls and place onto a greased pan for uniform shapes (easy & pretty). (3) Flour counter top, gently press out dough into a circle about 1/2” or 3/4” thick, cut into 12 equal-sized pieces and place onto a greased pan for classic scone presentation (more work but pretty). (4) Do same as option 3, but use empty tomato paste can to cut into 12 circles, and lie to everyone and call the tea biscuits (no one will ever know). (5) Grease a muffin tin (with 12 pockets) and scoop equal amounts into each pocket (achieves same as option 4 but is way easier and less messy). Many options but they all taste the same - I do option # 1 90% of the time!

5. Bake in 400f oven on middle rack for 12 minutes.

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Serving Suggestions

They taste great on their own just with a little butter - but I think they are at their best buttered, with tea and jam. Sometimes I make them for breakfast, and we have them with scrambled eggs and jam of course. They also go great with any soup or stew. Some people also like them with gravy (personally I’m not a fan).

Why this Works

Scones are a “quick bread” that use egg and baking powder to create lift for a nice, soft, fluffy texture. The added step of cutting in the butter create little butter pockets melt in the oven, creating flaky layers. All of this combines for a very simple yet wonderful snack. They are surprisingly quick to make after doing it a few times and will likely become a new family favorite. Give them try and let me know what you think!

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Here’s a video of me making them:

Don’t start anything too early!

If you start your transplants too early you will encounter a number of problems. For one, they will exhaust the nutrients in the transplant tray soil long before it is warm enough to move them outside and you will need to fertilize them. This can be tricky because too much fertilizer can hurt or even kill transplants, and it is just a tedious task that is unnecessary if you start your transplants at the right time. Another problem is that over-mature transplants will become pot-bound and need to be re-potted in larger pots – another tedious task. Finally, if they have been growing indoors for months, and are large plants at the time when you move them outside, they will have greater difficulty adapting to being outdoors without a lot of careful hardening off on your part – again, more unnecessary work. Smaller plants take up less room, require less work, require less resources, and adapt more easily when they are moved outdoors, so timing is important if your goal is an efficient use of your time.

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What to start and when

Different transplants need to be started at different times relative to when they are able to be transplanted outdoors - and remember - it’s not just the risk of frost, it’s also the soil temperature. Cold soil is a real shock to many plants. Hardy plants like lettuce can be started at the beginning of March and moved out in early April. Semi-hardy plants (kale/kohlrabi/lettuce/etc.) can be started around the beginning of April and moved out in early May. Tender plants that cannot handle any frost (e.g. tomatoes/peppers) will not be moved outdoors until late-May or as late as mid-June, depending on the conditions unique to a given growing season and the microclimate where you live. I don’t bother starting peppers until early April, and I start Tomatoes in Early May.

What plants are a waste of time to transplant?

Some plants just do not like being transplanted, and require a lot of effort to transplant successfully. For my money, they are so much easier to simply straight seed when the time is right. Spinach is super tough and can be planted very early. All root vegetables (beets/carrots/parsnips, etc.) are a waste of time to transplant. I also find that cucurbits (cucumber/pumpkin/zucchini/etc.) really do not like being transplanted, so I just put the seeds in the ground when it is warm enough. I find that straight-seeded squashes always outperform transplanted ones, so I don’t bother started them as transplants any more. Beans are also better off straight-seeded, and since peas can be planted as soon as the soil can be worked, I don’t think they are worth the effort to start as transplants either.

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Lights vs Windows vs Coldframes vs Greenhouses

The most common image that many people have in their minds of growing transplants is that of an indoor enclosure of some kind with florescent lights. While this option offers great advantages in terms of achieving optimal heat levels and perfect daily availability of light, it is the most artificial way to grow anything. This means that it requires the most work at the other end in terms of acclimatizing the transplants to being outdoors. All of the conditions that exist indoors under lights (stable temperature, no wind, room temperature soil) do not exist outdoors, so a lengthy hardening off process is needed if the plants are to survive the shock of being moved outdoors. Growing in a window is essentially the same as under lights in many ways, but the only difference is that at least the light is from the actual sun, and so it should be easier for transplants to adapt to unfiltered sun when they are moved outdoors. Hothouses are a better option because the plants are outdoors and getting as much real sun as possible and some degree of temperature variation with cold nights– but they can be expensive to build, and for this reason, they are only an option for the most serious of gardeners who have the space time and resources to build one. For my money, I consider the coldframe or improvised coldframe to be the ideal transplanting environment. They get real sun all day long, they experience a broad range of temperature variation early in the season, especially at night and they even give you the option to plant directly in the soil as opposed to little cups – which can greatly reduce your need to water.

Final Thoughts

There are many advantages that can be gained from transplanting, and it is definitely worth the effort in some growing zones and with some plants. Still, it may be the case that many of the things you are starting as transplants would do better if started in the ground. Personally, despite having a very large garden, I only start tomatoes, peppers and eggplant indoors. Everything else is started outdoors1. With all that having been said, if your time is limited, or you are just the kind of person that likes everything to be as seamless, efficient, and effortless as possible – it might be worth your while this growing season to step back, re-think your plans, and change up your transplanting game.

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FREE SHIPPING FROM VESEYS SEEDS

Use my COUPON CODE “GAVS26” to get free shipping from Veseys Seeds on seed catalogue orders. Free shipping is not applicable on surcharges on larger items. Promo code is valid until November 30, 2026.

Here’s a video on different types of microclimates for direct-seeding:

When I was a kid there was no spellchecker, no “Dictionary.com”, no “Wikipedia.com”, and, well… no “.com” at all. If I was reading a book and came across a word I didn’t know - or was unsure of a spelling - I had to look things up in a dictionary. If an historical event was mentioned, I had to read an encyclopedia to grasp the context. Nowadays, my word-processing software tells me when a word is spelled wrong and suggests how it to spell it correctly. Any word I think of can be looked up, understood, seen used in a sentence, explored in terms of its etymology, and I can even explore alternate words that have similar meanings if necessary. Any event, person, place or thing can be researched in depth, or understood quickly based on a concise summary of essential facts.

One might think such marvelous technological innovations should have an effect on human civilization similar to that of the Great Library of Alexandria, or the printing press, or industrialization - catapulting us into a future of inconceivable wonders. And perhaps they might - but at least for now, that undiscovered country seems far away.

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Scrabble insights

I recently played scrabble with my family. To keep the game simple we used an old-school dictionary (an actual paper book) to adjudicate word challenges. It was fun and also humbling as I am terrible at such games. When the game was over, I was talking to my kids (well, teenagers now 15 & 17) about dictionaries, and how they used to be the only way to look something up before the internet1. During that conversation I stumbled upon the insight that, while dictionaries were inconvenient in comparison to the online options available today, they had one major advantage: they taught you words you were not trying to learn. Look up the word “include” - and you get “incline” and “inclement” going up, and “incognito” and “incoherent” going down. You found what you wanted to find - but then found other things you were not trying to find. The result was that trying to learn one thing often lead to learning many unrelated things.

What does any of this have to do with gardening?

The Dunning-Kruger effect is a well known phenomenon where it has been observed that those who know very little have no idea how little they know - while whose who know a lot are keenly aware of how little they know. I fear that many gardeners fall victim to the Dunning-Kruger effect, and think that a few tweets, shorts, tiktoks, or videos are all they need to have a great garden - rather than reading books written by seasoned experts. It’s funny - I see so many guru’s offering online courses at ridiculous prices, and have even written articles about such courses, and said gurus - and I have never understood why people take these courses when there is usually so much more information in a good instructional book. Yes, there is the advantage of gaining access to the guru - but in general, I think this likely is anticlimactic, more often than not.

The great thing about reading a gardening book is that, as with the dictionary, you learn things you did not think you needed to learn. Take something as classic as “The Old Farmer’s Almanac Vegetable Gardener’s Handbook”. For most gardeners, I would say that a few hours leafing through this book is a better use of one’s time that a week of YouTube videos. On the one hand, the book has been put together with the purpose of being a concise, yet dense and comprehensive resource for gardeners - and has been around for years. Much more importantly, the book will tell you all the things you did not think you needed to know - as would any good teacher. And because a book can be as long as it needs to be - it will be packed with a lot of things you did not think you needed to know.

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Don’t get me wrong. Any average person - with trial, error and maybe a little luck - can have a great garden. But with a base of knowledge from a good book, there will be less need for trial, error and luck. The great thing about reading a good gardening book is that it was written by author(s) who know how overwhelming their subject matter is despite having a degree of mastery over it. They know how little they know, and they know how much you need to know, just to be able to know enough - and they have tried their best to place the essentials in a book.

Final Thoughts

The Great Library of Alexandria was a marvel of Classical Antiquity. It warehoused hundreds of thousands of texts from all over the known world. Scholars came from far and wide to access the knowledge in those texts, and to share thoughts and ideas with the like-minded - and it lasted from roughly 300BCE to 400AD when it was finally lost due to a range of forces such as war, politics, and gradual decay.

Today, practically all the world’s knowledge and great minds can be accessed through a smart phone. Unfortunately, a side-effect of that edifice is that we are far less likely to learn a new thing by accident - and even when we are presented with such an opportunity - we are simultaneously bombarded with many distractions that cater to our baser drives and instincts. Perhaps it’s a bug, or perhaps it’s the feature, but it’s definitely a thing. Thankfully - escape is easy. This winter, turn it all off and read a gardening book. Who knows what you might learn.

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I was in a dentist's office recently. While in the waiting room, I looked around and noticed that everyone was staring into a smart phone... well, everyone except one young kid (maybe four years old), and myself. Every once and a while, the kid would look up at me, and I would wink or smile, then the kid would smile back or giggle, then look away. Then he made faces at me, and I made faces back. After a while, our little game of faces went stale, so I literally closed me eyes, and eventually started drifting off to sleep. At some point I lost balance in the chair, woke up, and noticed the kid was watching me, and he giggled because I caught him, and I smiled, then I drifted back to sleep - then lost balance again, and again caught him watching me. Then I pretended to sleep for a few seconds, and opened one eye looking right at him - which he found very funny. It was a fun way to pass the time. We never spoke a word, but we were communicating and making a connection. All the while, the kid's dad was staring blankly at his phone, and all the other parents and kids were doing the same thing. I have no idea what they were all doing on those devices, but I think that kid and I were having a better time.

Later on that evening, while trying to drift off to sleep, I was thinking about that experience with the kid in the dentist’s office. The parents all had their faces buried in smartphones, and with the exception of the boy that I had been interacting with, all of the kids had been given devices to keep them entertained. I suppose it's possible that some of the kids were learning trigonometry or Aristotelian logic or some other elevated topic of inquiry on their devices - but from what I could see of the ones within sight - they were just playing nonsense games1 or watching YouTube videos with kids/influencers showing them things to buy. To put that another way, their smartphones were providing two options: distraction and avarice - and it is hard to see how either of those are constructive. This is a wasted opportunity for a young mind of course, but I would say that it is a waste of an opportunity for any mind! By contrast, the silly game I was playing with the kid was a valuable use of time. We were honing our communication skills by practicing empathy, sympathy, and the reading of non-verbal signals, and I was given the gift of a child’s laughter. We did all of this without saying a word. Its was a dance as old as the human experience. It was a rich exchange - and it happed in the middle of a room of dead stares and mouth-breathing. Even if the boy had not been there to play our silly game, I think sitting silently with one’s thoughts is also a valuable experience. It give’s one time to reflect, to process, or to simply drift off to sleep and recharge a little. We have so many options for distraction and entertainment today - and as a consequence, we have lost the practice of letting our minds drift, and no longer gain the benefits of all the insights, musings and restfulness that can add to our lives.

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How does this all relate to gardening?

I get offers all the time to promote gardening apps on my various social media platforms. In principle they can do a lot of things - like help with garden layout, assist with plant selection, make suggestions for companion planting, advise of frost warnings, and help to schedule planting times. But in reality, none of these things require an app. Garden layout, even for a large garden like mine, can easily be done with a paper and pencil. Plant selection is best determined based on growing conditions, skill, and personal taste - and can take years to figure out through experimentation, trial and error. Most online guides for companion planting are hocus pocus - so any app making suggestions will likely cost you a season of bad results. Frost warnings from an app will only work if it is getting it’s information from the correct weather station, and even then there is nuance and microclimates. Finally, scheduling planting times is based on soil temperatures and risk of frost - so an app can be unreliable.

Generally, I don’t promote gardening apps because I think they are a waste of money and a waste of time. I have rattled off all of the above to make the point that an app is unnecessary for a great garden - but the title of this article is that there is no app for a great garden - and that is because a great garden requires something an app simply cannot provide. It’s about recognizing problems, and dealing with them before they get out of hand. It’s about getting out there at sunrise, or working right to sunset if that’s the time you can find to get things done when they need to be done. It’s about bug bites, sweat, sore muscles and dirty fingernails. It’s about constant, ongoing, lifelong learning. It’s about setting goals, but also knowing your limitations. It’s about getting to know your growing space intimately, and making constant little improvements based on lessons learned each season through trial and error. There’s no app for any of that.

Final Thoughts

I’m not anti-tech. I have a podcast, three YouTube channels, a Substack page, an Instagram page, a Twitter/X page, a website, and a Facebook page. I have a day job that requires many info-tech competencies, and an I-phone for said day job. Heck, right up until about 2017 I used to build my own computers and install the operating systems, and do all the maintenance and trouble-shooting. I love tech. But I hate smartphones and their various attention-grabbing software with a passion, because they are making people mindless, antisocial, and dull - and they seem to have many people convinced that there is a shortcut for learning that can replace first-hand, direct, unplugged, genuine human interaction with the physical world and the people in it.

I question the wisdom of this mentality. Why are we plugging into devices when our brains are so well adapted to plugging into nature. Why are we communicating with each other through texts when our brains are so well adapted to face to face social interactions? Why are we spending hours of our lives each day staring at fake stuff when there is a real world out there with so much to see. It’s like a prison has been created for our minds - and we have walked right into it, closed the door behind us, and bolted it shut.

This year, if you want to try a garden app - by all means go for it - but perhaps instead, consider reading one good actual gardening book, make a few notes with pencil and paper, and then as soon as the spring comes around - leave the phone indoors, get out there, feel the sun on your face, breathe in the fresh air, hear the wind in the trees and the insects and the birds, get your hands in the dirt, and plug into something real.

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Collard Greens are thick, leafy green vegetables that are close relatives of kale and long lost relatives of cabbage and broccoli. They are nutritious, easy to grow , store and freeze well, and as alluded to above, can be left in the garden well into late fall - making them and ideal crop for the lazy gardener.

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The challenge with collards is that they are tough and can be a little bitter - so they need to be cooked. In some parts of the world they are a very traditional food source and people know how to make them - but I did not grow up eating collards, so I had to learn how to make them through trial and error. The recipe below is adapted from the way they are often made in the Southern United States. In keeping with that culinary tradition - we tend to eat them with some sort of meat and rice dish - or with a dish like Jambalaya. Here’s how I make them:

Directions:

1. Put a large pot on the stove. Add 2 tbsp oil and turn to medium heat.

2. Remove stems from leaves, wash and cut greens into thin strips.

3. Dice onion - add to pot.

4. Prepare bacon/sausage/ham (anything smoked and tasty) and add to pot.

5. While onions are browning, mince garlic and dice tomatoes. Add them to the pot when the onions have turned golden, and sauté for 3 minutes.

6. Add salt, black pepper and chili peppers, vinegar and stock to pot - bring to boil.

7. Add collards. The liquid needs to almost cover the collards, so add about 2 more cups of water (or more stock if you have it). There needs to be enough liquid to cover the greens once they have wilted down.

   

8. Bring to a boil, then reduce heat and simmer until greens are tender. If they are harvested after a good freeze - they might only take an hour - otherwise they will probably take 2 hours to get tender.

   

9. Serve with something that will soak up the broth - all the flavor is in the broth! A rice dish is great - but so is bread, or corn bread. This recipe makes a lot, and we can usually get at least two meals out of one batch.

Why this Works

Collard greens have a lot of flavor, but they need simmering or they are too tough to enjoy. Also, that flavor is really no good on its own and needs a dance partner, and that is why they are often stewed with various savory ingredients. The browning of the onion and smoked meat, and the garlic and spices - combined with the acidity of the tomatoes and vinegar, and the richness of the stock - all come together to make this a fantastic comfort food and an ideal side dish for many meals. Give them a try and let me know what you think!

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Here’s a video on how to make them:

What are plant hardiness zones?

Plant hardiness zones in Canada are determined by a variety of factors, including average minimum temperature of the coldest month, frost free period in days, rainfall June through November, mean maximum temperature of the warmest month, rainfall in January, mean maximum snow depth, maximum wind gust in 30 years, and elevation. (click her for more details). All of these factors are used to develop an index that determines how cold it is likely to get in a particular area. That’s all the zone really indicates - how cold it can get during winter. This has important implications for the survivability of perennials - but doesn’t say that much about what is possible during a growing season.

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How are they helpful?

Perennials - whether they are herbs, fruits, vegetables, berry bushes, or trees - must be rated for the hardiness zone where you are located. If they cannot take the extremes of your winter, they will not survive. Most perennials will have the zone rating indicated somewhere - and good garden centers will only sell perennials that are rated for local hardiness zones1. With that having been said, it is always a good idea to check. I bought grapes once from a hardware store - not cheap - and didn’t notice they were rated for Zone 8 until the following spring. I kept waiting for them to bud, but nothing happened. Luckily, due to my laziness, the tag was still on them, and I happened to notice the zone rating - so I knew they were a lost cause. This is always a risk with seasonal garden centers because their buyers are not always knowledgeable when it comes to some of the finer aspects of perennials like hardiness zones. This far less likely to happen with an actual garden center.

How are they not helpful?

Despite the factors that seem to be employed in the model that calculates and determines the growing zones, they don’t seem to account for intensity of heat. For instance, according to Natural Resources Canada, Halifax Nova Scotia and Hamilton Ontario are the same (zone 6b), but I have lived in both places for multiple years and experienced the difference first hand. In spring, summer and fall, Hamilton is generally much warmer than Halifax; that is to say, they have more 30+C days than us. They also have less fog - so in general, they have more sun and heat - and thus, better growing conditions during the growing season. Conversely, Halifax is generally warmer in winter; that is to say, we have more days that are less than -10C than them - but everything still frozen - so in many ways, our warm winters are equally as useless as theirs when it comes to growing annuals. At the same time - my mother used to live in Edmonton Alberta, Zone 4a I think, and her tomatoes were regularly ripe before mine. Edmonton has a super cold winter - but in summer they have light until 10pm In June/July, and practically no fog. That’s a lot of sun!

Growing zones also do not account for unique microclimates. A perfect example is my own garden (zone 6b according to the zone map above). Most planting guides (such as the farmer’s almanac), recommend that I plant out my tomato transplants around the last week of May. In my experience, tomatoes planted at that time have about a 75% chance of becoming severely damaged or killed when planted that early - because we still have very cold nights, and the soil is rarely warm enough by then for tender, heat-loving plants. Much of this is due to factors unique to my location, in terms of it’s elevation and proximity to the Atlantic Ocean. We get a lot of wind, fog, and clouds. All of this affects soil and air temperatures, which affect the health and vigor of plants. By contrast, I have a friend who lives only an hour’s drive away, on a south facing slope in “the valley”2, where it is Zone 6a - and who’s rhubarb consistently starts growing 2 weeks before mine. Once again - the zone does not tell you much about the growing season.

Final Thoughts

Plant hardiness zones are useful to gardeners when it comes to choosing which perennials to plant, but are not a good means to determine when to sow seeds and plant out transplants, and they are not always precise for certain geographic areas – especially if your garden is planted in a unique microclimate. In my experience, it is better to watch for natural indicators of seasonal change specific to your location that tell you when to plant - like the dandelion.

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In the contemporary context, we think of investment vehicles in terms of a broad litany of exotic investment platforms such as stocks, bonds, mutual funds, guaranteed investment certificates, property holdings, etc. The many options can mystify the mind, and we buy-in based on the faith that over the long run, our prudence will result in long-term returns that take advantage of compound interest, macro-economic factors, and of course, luck, depending on how much risk we are willing to take in making these investments. Long story short, and at the risk of over simplification, at best we can expect a maximum of 7% to 10% return in a good year, and negative returns in bad years. Let us contrast this conception of a good investment with agriculture - what is perhaps the oldest known form of investment known.

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A pack of seeds

A pack of seeds costs from $1.99 to 3.99, and that can easily fill a 4′ X10′ garden bed, or even more, depending on the variety and how judicious you are with your seeds. If we use kale as an example, planted in in May – by June you will have enough kale to feed a family of four a mess of kale at least twice a week – and because kale can be harvested multiple times, those same plants will provide well into October, or possibly November depending on the variety and growing conditions. If we work that out such that we assume the equivalent of two heads of kale a week for 5 months, at $2.99 a head (the typical cost of that amount of produce at a grocery store), that’s about a $200 value per year in produce , a 6589% return in a single year based on a 2.99 pack of seeds. I sincerely doubt that the stock tip of the century could possibly yield such results.

Cumulative Savings over time

Regardless of the initial cost of inputs in setting up your garden, over the short term and long term, food gardens give far more back than you ever put in. A garden is an investment, and depending on what you grow, and what proportion of your diet it comprises, you can begin to see returns on that investment in as little as one year. In fact, annual savings projected over a five year period, based on the assumption that your garden (if properly planned) will provide for the majority of your produce needs for 6 months of the year (May to October) yield the following results:

The graph above shows the value of produce grown (vertical axis) by year (horizontal axis), over five years, with each line representing progressively larger gardens.

Example 1: A household that spends $20 on produce a week (orange line) will save $480/year on groceries, such that those savings will accumulate to $2,400 after five years.

Example 2: A household that spends $40 on produce a week (grey line) will save $960/year on groceries, such that those savings will accumulate to $4,800 after five years.

Example 3: A household that spends $60 a week (yellow line) will save $1440/year on produce, such that those savings will accumulate to $7,200 after five years.

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Of course there is a time cost (you have to do stuff and work in the garden), and some might argue that the value of that time is equal to or greater to the value that can be realized from the garden produce, but I would suggest that this view is myopic, and does not take into account the holistic benefits of gardening. Imagine a gym membership that costs nothing, provides highly beneficial stress relief, and sends you home with a bag of groceries every day. No such gym exists – but a backyard garden provides all of those benefits and more, as there is no driving or parking involved. In addition, maintaining a garden gets you outside every day, in the fresh air with the sun and birds (aka “touch green”) and it has a profound and wonderful effect on your mental health, and overall state of mind.

There is also the health benefits of a plant based diet. When you have a backyard garden - especially when the vegetables are producing in full swing - you often find yourself re-organizing your household diet, literally gorging on your produce just to keep up with the production. The side effect of this is weight loss, added vitamins and minerals, time outdoors, and just feeling great.

Final Thoughts

In this age of market uncertainty, it’s nice to know that there are low risk, high return options available. All that is required is to think outside the box, broaden your definition of what an investment is, and try a different strategy. Look back to the past and reacquaint yourself with the soil. Over time you will find that there is no investment that comes close to the kinds of returns that well planned gardens can offer. Given that gardening gets easier as you get better at it, especially when using a permaculture approach, this means that every year, your garden will produce more with less work, and that’s money in the bank.

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HelloFresh provides ingredients and step-by-step instructions on how to prepare each meal. In some people’s minds this is a good way to learn how to cook. I would agree that it is a way to learn to cook - but I’m not sure it is a good way to learn to cook, and I’m even less sure that it’s a good way to learn cooking skills.

HelloFresh provides pre-portioned (and in some cases pre-prepared) ingredients in a box, with step by step instructions on how to turn those ingredients into a meal. It is true that some basic sense of how ingredients go together to make specific meals can be learned in this way; but I sincerely doubt that much of it can be carried forward in in a manner that functions in the absence of perpetual inputs from HelloFresh - and of course, there is so much more to learn. Cooking skills start with basic kitchen skills. What are basic kitchen skills?

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• Knife skills: This is how to chose the right knife for each task; how to sharpen and hone a knife; how to hold a knife; how to use a knife safely; and what to do with your other hand while using a knife. Then there’s chopping, slicing, dicing, mincing. Just mastering knife skills alone can cut prep times in half or even more.

• Prep skills: Many basic ingredients require a set of tasks to be performed before they ever get near the fry pan. A whole chicken may need to be deboned, or jointed, butterflied prior to cooking. Carrots need to peeled - and then maybe cubed, or sliced on a bias, or julienned, or grated. Onions need to be sliced of diced. Fresh salad greens need to be washed and cut. Garlic needs to be peeled and minced. All of these tasks take time - in fact, these are probably the most time-consuming tasks in preparing any meal - yet they tend to get the least attention on cooking shows and in recipes. Every single food item has specific aspects to its geometry and composition that demand a specific knowledge and skill set to minimize prep-time. Want to cut down on the time it takes to make meals - master your prep skills.

• Logistics: One of the first things I noticed when I worked in a restaurant was that there was an ideal ordering of tasks for just about everything. When preparing multiple dishes this really matters. I see it like a puzzle. When every task is done at the right time and in the right order, the meal takes the least amount of time to prepare. I place logistics right up there with prep skills and knife skills as the main reason why some people are faster than others in the kitchen, and also, why some people less overwhelmed in the kitchen that others. I do not think HelloFresh adequately builds this competency - and perhaps nothing does outside of experience.

• Portioning: This is the sense of how much of any one thing is needed to go with another. For instance, rice for four (using plain white rice), requires about 1 1/2 cups of rice, and about 3 cups of water, and at least 1 tsp of salt. Chicken for four requires at least 4 thighs, or 8 drumsticks, or 16 wings, or at lease the breast from an entire chicken - then each piece needs a certain amount of seasoning - and of course, if there are some big eaters, maybe more is needed - or perhaps a good veg dish can be added - or more of the starch portion. Portioning out a meal is really just the balancing of an equation of protein, starch and veg - and then trying to make sure everyone has enough to be satisfied.

• Heating: Many foods require the application of heat to be safe to eat, or easier to eat, or in many cases, good and flavorful to eat. A range of options are available, such as sautéing, baking, grilling, stir-frying, roasting, boiling, steaming, etc. For each type of food - some techniques taste better than others (e.g. I will take grilled chicken over boiled chicken every damn day). Likewise, for each technique, the question of how much heat, and for how long, can mean the difference between a perfect meal and a disaster.

• Seasoning/flavoring: The application of salt, herbs and spices is often what makes the difference between a forgettable meal, and a delicious meal. Since HelloFresh meals often come with spice blends that have been portioned out to go with the dish that has been purchased - the user never really learns how to apply the seasonings in question, or possibly even what specific seasonings to use.

• Sauces: Sauces make meals more flavorful. What is a salad without salad dressing? What is roasted chicken or beef or turkey without gravy? What is a stir-fry without that tasty sauce that helps it all come together and flavor the rice? Every sauce is a careful balance of some combination of seasonings, acid, sugar, salt, oil, and an emulsifier. Most sauces cost almost nothing to make, but are costly to buy. When all of that comes premade in a small packet, nothing is learned about sauces.

I have gone through a list of basic kitchen skills (probably not exhaustive) to contrast the HelloFresh learning experience with what I would consider a more comprehensive understanding of the range of skills needed to be fully capable in a kitchen - all of which can be learned for free on YouTube. While some may view the items on that list as somewhat overwhelming - I simply see them as the inevitable outcome of time spent in the kitchen with a mindset that is geared toward gradual and incremental improvement in terms of time-on-task, skill building, and flavor building.

Other points on learning to cook

I have heard arguments that the HelloFresh’s step-by-step instructions help beginners gain confidence in the kitchen, that it encourages trying new cooking techniques, and it helps kids or partners learn to cook together as a fun activity. All of these points are true, but none of these things require HelloFresh. Everyone had access to step-by-step instructions prior to the internet - they were called cookbooks. Today, you can even watch someone make a dish on YouTube. Similarly, people have been exposed to new cooking techniques for years - whether it was thanks to Julia Child, Good Eats, Yan Can Cook, or some other cooking show. Sadly, many “cooking shows” today are more about drama and teach nothing. But there are still many good ones out there - just focus on the content: is there a person walking through each step, explaining everything, or are there a group of judges dressed like the wealthy people in the Hunger Games, and many contestants acting like the contestants in the Hunger Games. If it’s the former, you will probably learn something, if it’s the latter, you might be entertained. Finally, cooking with kids and/or partners was always an option. Two seconds before HelloFresh appeared on the market it was an option, and two seconds after it fades in to oblivion, it will still be an option.

Final Thoughts

HelloFresh gets people in the kitchen, preparing food, and cooking meals. In that sense it’s a good thing - but how on earth did we ever get to a point, culturally, where a product like this was capable of being considered a good way to make those things happen?

I have beaten this topic to death, and apologize to readers that did not find it very interesting - but I just had to write it. I sincerely doubt that I have, or ever will, talk anyone out of spending money on HelloFresh. In fact, now that I have written all that I care to write on the topic, I really don’t think that was my intention in the first place. Rather, I think this article was for all the like-minded people out there who are similarly perplexed at why anyone would spend money on this product. It was an attempt to articulate a point of view that is contrary to all of the hype and marketing and spin that seems to surround HelloFresh1. Hopefully the like-minded will not feel so alone in their skepticism. Please let me know what you think in the comments!

Addendum: Portion Control (sorry…)

We’re four articles deep on this topic, and I intend for this to be the last2, so I thought I would address one more argument I have heard that is outside of the theme of this particular installment, and that is the point that with HelloFresh - since the ingredients are pre-portioned - you’re less likely to waste food, and it can help with managing calorie intake if you’re watching your diet. Firstly, this would only hold true if there was no other food in your house/apartment/condo - and all your meals were provided by HelloFresh. - and since most people only use HelloFresh for one meal a day at most, it is hardly a good way to achieve portion control. Secondly, it’s just the illusion of portion control for one meal - and then you are back to the normal sea of dietary chaos and temptation that we all face every day, for the rest of your waking hours. It’s really not a solution. Weight loss is hard - but it’s even harder when you’re blowing money on bogus solutions.

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Quality is a word that means a lot if you choose to believe it, but means nothing if you are skeptical - and as such, in the context of marketing, speaks more to the desires of the buyer, rather than the intentions of the seller. Variety is a similar word. How much variety? What kind of variety? Variety in what sense?

The quality and variety argument is one I have heard from just about everyone I’ve talked to that uses HelloFresh. Here are the various forms that arguments along these lines tend to take:

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• Gives access to fresh, high-quality ingredients.

“High quality” is one of those magic words that get rolled out when a vendor wants you to chose product A over product B in the absence of any measurable difference between the two. Are the HelloFresh potatoes really better than all the options at the supermarket? Is there no bread that is even close? Is the dried pasta really that good. And how so? And in what way?

Fresh, high quality ingredients are available at any decent supermarket on any given day. It’s all a question of being able to recognize them when shopping, and that comes from time spent working with ingredients. It is true that paying to have someone else do that job and deliver them to your door can help ensure a degree of quality - but that quality and freshness only means that they found the freshest and most “quality” ingredients they could find to fulfil their menu, and to their standards. For example - say they have a fish dish that uses salmon. Well what if there are fresher fish options on that particular week? When I go to the store craving salmon - sometimes the cod, or haddock look better, or the squid, or the monkfish - so I buy those. But I have those options because I buy my own food and prepare and eat a wide variety of fish…

• Provides a wide variety of recipes with global flavors and seasonal options.

Recipes for just about every popular dish in the world, seasonal or otherwise, are available on the internet, and in most cases there are videos of people making them. Anyone can learn how to make anything. HF didn’t make this happen. Furthermore, - while I believe HelloFresh offers something like over 100 menu items to choose from each week, it is hard to believe it offers greater variety than that of any decent grocery store. Think of the fish options. How many types of fish are there? Can there possibly be more variety than what is available at a good grocery store? When I perused the HelloFresh menu - all I saw for fish recipes were ones using salmon, shrimp and tilapia. Many ways to prepare it (by many I mean about 20 or so)- but only three fish. Any decent grocery store has more options than these. And what about vegetables? There are so many more options in a grocery store. The variety argument is preposterous.

• Allows you to try new foods and cooking styles you may not normally choose.

When I was a kid there was a show on television called “Wok With Yan” where the host made Chinese food. Everything looked so colorful and tasty. I have been obsessed with learning how to cook Chinese food ever since. I even recall buying a wok when I was a teenager because we didn’t have one in our house, so I could copy Wok with Yan. When I was in grade seven, I befriended a boy from Sri Lanka. From the moment I tried his mother’s food, I have been obsessed with South Asian cuisine. Strangely - those two experiences catapulted me into a lifetime love of trying new things and wanting to learn how to make dishes from all over the world. Nowadays there are so many good cooking shows, and so many good YouTube channels - I simply don’t understand how anyone would need HF to start that journey. Perhaps it forces some people out of their comfort zone, and gets them to try new things - but I simply don’t understand how spending money on HelloFresh is a preferable way to try new things than simply watching a cooking show and trying to make the things they made on the show.

• Offers a range of dietary options (vegetarian, dairy-free, calorie-smart, protein-heavy, etc.).

As with all the above - these options were already on the table before HelloFresh was a thing. In fact, there are so many more dietary options than the ones HelloFresh makes available. It is all a question of becoming an informed consumer, understanding the ingredients, and learning how to make good choices relative to your dietary preferences or restrictions. HelloFresh is not a dietician hired to suggest menu items that are the healthiest possible options for your particular dietary needs. It is a business that makes money by offering products that it anticipates will be attractive its target market. If you are a vegetarian, or lactose intolerant, or trying to lose weight, you will be far better served by educating yourself about you dietary options, and developing the culinary skills to enhance and improve the flavor of meals you make using basic ingredients.

Final Thoughts

There is a large supermarket about a 20 minute drive from my house. It has a wide variety of food items. Across the street from it, there is an Asian grocery market. It is much smaller, and has fewer things - but it sells many things the supermarket doesn’t sell. Also, it has more variety of some things - like leafy greens, or rice, types of soy sauce, etc. - than does the supermarket. Also, in general, the produce at the Asian grocery is of a better quality than that of the supermarket - although not always, and not in every case. Both stores have variety and quality, and but a different sense. We all want quality. We all want variety. I think the best way to ensure that we get them is by learning to recognize those attributes when we see them, rather than relying on the integrity of the marketing firms to identify them for us.

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Here’s a Jambalaya dish you can’t get from HelloFresh:

Convenience

For me, the most glaring flaw in the HelloFresh convenience argument is the simple fact that when the box arrives, you still have all your work cut out for you - because it’s just a box of ingredients with instructions. You still have to cut, peel, chop, sauté, sear, bake, fry, boil, toss, etc. all of that stuff and make a meal of it. In that sense, HelloFresh is no more convenient than bringing home groceries from the supermarket - because that option also requires all the same activities to turn them into a meal. Despite this obvious lack of convenience, there are still a surprising number of arguments that tend to be made in favor of the the convenience claim - so here they are:

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• It saves time on meal planning (no need to decide what to cook every day).

I simply do not understand this point. If we are talking about evening meals - then this is just a question of deciding on a protein, a starch and one or more vegetable dishes - or maybe just a single dish that has all three1. On any given day, I think it might take a minute or so to make those decisions. It’s a question of understanding basic ingredients, and having the skills to make use of them. Perhaps some people find this very difficult, and like the idea of having someone else do it for them - but I prefer to make those decisions for myself, and do not need to pay a premium to have them made for me. Meal planning is just problem solving - and it’s not that big a problem.

• It saves time on grocery shopping (ingredients are delivered to your door).

It might save you from going to the grocery store for those particular meals - but you still need to go to the store for all your other meals - so it really doesn’t save you a trip at all. With minimal planning, a week’s meals should require one trip a week to the supermarket.

• The recipes are pre-portioned, reducing prep time.

Portioning is not the major aspect of prep time - processing basic ingredients (cutting, peeling, etc.) is the major aspect of pre time - and with HelloFresh you still have to do all of this after you open the box. Portioning is just deciding how much to cook. It requires simple math you can do in your head and takes seconds. This claim is simply ridiculous.

• It cuts down on last-minute “what’s for dinner?” stress.

I have never experienced such stress. I suppose some people do - but I would argue that the better solution for such individuals is to broaden their menu and improve their cooking skills (which also broadens the menu option), rather than paying a premium to have someone else figure everything out. You need to eat a few times a day, every day, for your whole life. It makes sense to put some time and energy into developing the ability to plan out a weekly menu - but also the ability to whip up quick meals on the fly using what happens to be in the fridge after a long day at work. There are plenty of good meals that can be thrown together in 30 minutes or less. It’s good to have at least half a dozen of them in your back pocket for “emergencies”. These can be things like beans and wieners, or tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches - but there are also many far more elevated and flavorful culinary options for fast meals that are available - it’s just a question of imagination, knowledge and skill.

Final Thoughts

Life is hard. The younger folks these days like to use the term “adulting”, but really, it’s just life in the absence of being waited on hand and foot. It requires decision-making, effort and skill. With independence comes the necessity of developing these competencies. This process should not be viewed with dread or resentment - but with pride, because if you give yourself over to it, you will emerge from it a more formidable version of yourself. The allure of convenience plays to the reality that life is hard. We all struggle and would like things to be a little easier, and if some product saves time or effort - that makes sense. But sometimes the allure of convenience has the effect of making us very susceptible to the illusion of convenience. For many products, the claim of convenience is just a very clever game of smoke and mirrors. It is a pattern I have seen so many times I’ve lost count. Convenient product X appears on the market. Everyone buys it. Everyone loves it. The purveyor of the product makes mountains of cash. And then, after a few years, it all just disappears, and the spell is broken because it really wasn’t that convenient at all. Is HelloFresh one such product? I think so - but only time will tell.

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I recently saw an ad for “HelloFresh” that spoke to all its merits - and I have to say - none of it resonated with me. I have co-workers, neighbors and friends that think it’s great. The internet tells me it’s great. My television tells me it’s great. It seems like everyone is on board, and I’m just missing the boat. So I thought I would share my take on all of the typical arguments in favor of this popular new dinner option. If you really like HelloFresh and think it’s great - maybe skip this article. If you are considering it - please read on. In this first article of my four-part series on HelloFresh, I address the claim that HelloFresh offers good value.

Value

Many people make the argument that HelloFresh is a good deal. So I went to the website to see what it would cost to buy meals for my family. I asked for five meals a week for a family of four. Here is what I was offered:

You can see in the image above, the costs have been cut in half, and the shipping has been cut to zero - such that the price of $210.79 is reduced to $99.90. The website tells me I will get $302 off my 1st 10 boxes, and so that’s why this week’s meals will be $99.90. Sounds good for this week, and next week, but it appears that after that, the prices will double, and I will be paying $210.79 a week for five meals. This is a problem since my current weekly family budget for food is $250 per week, and there’s still all our breakfast and lunch meals to be procured - and by the way - there’s seven days in a week - so I still need to get dinner meals for the other two days. We would clearly go broke if all our meals were procured in this way. To put that another way, this option asks that I burn through 84% ($201.79/$250)of my weekly food budget, to make 24% of my weekly meals (5/21) -and that’s not even counting snacks and desserts and stuff - which are also covered by my weekly budget.

I was initially going to employ a spreadsheet to confirm the argument that in the aggregate, over time, HelloFresh is simply not a sustainable choice in terms of cost. I can do that in a subsequent article if there is sufficient demand, but I think it should be obvious to anyone already that this gets expensive over time. $210 a week over 52 weeks is almost $11K a year - and that will only cover 24% of your dietary needs. There is simply no way that having individual meals delivered in a box to your door can be cost effective in the aggregate over time.

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Now, with the issue of cost behind us, the main arguments from fans for value tend to go as follows:

• It can be cheaper than frequent takeout or dining out.

The fact that it is cheaper than eating out or takeout does not mean it offers good value, it only means that, as a value proposition, it is not as bad a decision as those other bad decisions - it does not mean it is a good decision. Let’s look at this type of reasoning another way: Is hitting your head with a frying pan good for your health because it’s better that hitting your head with a hammer or an anvil? Of course not. Less bad does not mean good, and it does not mean optimal if there are better options.

• It helps reduce impulse grocery spending because you buy only what you need.

Insofar as it might help to reduce impulse grocery spending (the urge some people have to throw everything they see into their cart when shopping), it would only do this if, by virtue of using HelloFresh , the person never went to a grocery store. Since most plans are for just a few meals - then the person still needs to be in a grocery store at least once a week, and will still run the risk of impulse shopping. I think making a list prior to going to the store and sticking to it is a much more practical and cost effective way to break such a habit.

• Pre-portioned ingredients mean less food waste, which saves money.

This argument only holds if food waste is assumed. There are many ways to prevent food waste in a home. Buying smart is one of them, planning things out a little is another, and knowing a few dishes that will use everything up (e.g. soup/stew/etc.)1 also works - just to name a few. The notion that you need pre-portioned meals delivered to your door to reduce waste is preposterous. In fact, every one of those meals will have a delivery cost in addition to the value of the food items, so it will be like dumping a gallon of gasoline down the drain. In effect, one is simply trading food waste for fuel waste - and why - to avoid losing a few leaves of wilted lettuce (perfectly fine in soup) or a banana getting overripe (…did somebody say banana bread)? In effect, paying for HelloFresh to avoid generating food waste is more like a tax on the inability to do home economics.

Final Thoughts

I am old enough to recall a time when water was free. Now we pay more for it than gasoline. Is it really worth that much? Where did the drinking fountains go? Why do we need water all the time. What happened?

Value is a funny thing. In principle, determining value should be a cold, rational and analytical exercise - but in reality, we tend to have a hard time thinking about value in a manner that is divorced from our deeper desires. Unfortunately, due to the suggestive nature of modern marketing, many of our deep desires are not always innate; rather, they tend to be induced. Sometimes this occurs in an instant, by the triggering of a passion or some warm feeling of familiarity - but more often this happens gradually, over time, by means of many subtle suggestions and nudges. Sometimes those suggestions are also cleverly aligned with a broader zeitgeist - which seems to fortify and substantiate their apparent claim to truth. Eventually, we start wanting something so bad that we start seeing value where it does not exist.

I don’t think HelloFresh is good value. Do you? Please share your feelings in the comments section.

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Since you readers of my Substack page are likely some of my most devoted readers/viewers/listeners/etc., please allow me to apologize. I feel like I have breached a contract - especially with my paying members - and I am sorry for that. I am sorry, but it was necessary.

When you take on a large creative project like having a YouTube channel, a podcast and regular written articles - you need at least two things: 1) creative ideas for new stuff; and, 2) the time and energy that is required to turn those ideas into something that people will like. I am never short on ideas, I had some time, but I was all out of energy. I simply did not have the drive to chase those ideas down, grab them with both hands, and squeeze the juice out of them. Why? Please let me explain:

I don’t like sitting at a desk

About 95% of turning a good idea into interesting content involves sitting at a desk for hours and hours and hours. Writing, editing, creating graphics, researching, tinkering with social media interfaces, emailing people - this is all desk work that requires sitting in one place, staring at a screen, typing, and using a mouse. So, physically - it is indistinguishable from my day job! Anyone that knows me well knows that I am a very restless, fidgety, and active person. I like doing things with my hands, I like being outdoors, and I like being on my feet. The deskwork aspect of running Maritime Garden is in direct opposition to one of my most defining personality traits. I fight this trait to chase down my creative endeavors because I always have so many ideas floating around in my head and I want to see them through to a finished product - but it comes at a physical and emotional price and it wears me down.

This August, I spent way less time at a desk, and it felt good.

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I don’t like routines

I took two weeks’ vacation this past August. My wife asked me what I planned to do with that time. My response was the following: “My plan is to have no plan. I want to wake up every morning and have no idea what I’m going to do”. I love having no plan. I suppose for many people, having no plan means going nowhere and doing nothing. For me it is very much the opposite. It is the freedom to do anything. I had a great time during those two weeks and did so many different things.

My regular goal, when it comes to Maritime Gardening, is to make about two videos a week, write one article a week, and record one podcast a month. All of that requires a degree of discipline, and some kind of routine to keep it all on track.

I respect discipline, but I hate routine! I hate structure. I hate predictability. It’s all so boring! It’s like placing my spirit in a prison!

This August, I broke my routine and it felt good.

I have a family

I consider Maritime gardening to be, first and foremost, a creative and artistic endeavor. Yes it is a small business. Yes it provides educational content. Yes it requires that I be a "social media influencer". But I find all of that boring and I don't think any of that happens without meaningful artistic expression and creativity driving the train. There are many types of artist, and many paths to the creative process that generates art - but for me, art requires a degree of selfishness in terms of how one’s time is being spent. Sometimes it requires staring at a blank screen for hours, and getting nothing done. Sometimes it needs you to drop everything and run with a good idea in a moment of inspiration. Sometimes you need to spend hours doing one thing, only to realize that you are doing the wrong thing, and then need to do everything all over again in a different way. All of this takes loads of time - and the more time you invest, the more you produce and the better it is.

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I have a wife (married 21 years, in a relationship for 25 years), a 15 year-old daughter, and an almost 17 year-old son. From a certain point of view, every moment invested in my creative pursuits is a moment stolen from them. I am perpetually torn between a desire to exercise my creative interests, and a desire to be a good dad/husband - and sometimes it feels like every aspect of being part of a family goes against having success with my creative endeavors. If my son or daughter needs help with homework - I have to give that priority. If my wife needs me to do something that really needs to be done (fix/solve an immediate problem/etc.) - I have to make that a priority. Those are very practical things - but sometimes I am busy writing or editing, and my daughter comes in the office and just wants to tell me about her day. That’s might take 30 minutes - and by then - whatever headspace I was in when I was actually writing is gone - and I just want to get up from my desk and do something else - and a piece of work that was maybe twenty minutes from completion might not be done for days. Maybe my wife wants to go for a walk. Maybe my son wants to watch a movie or do something with me. All of these things are very very important. I never want anyone to feel like I don’t have time for them - but they all shut down my creative process.

I find the creative headspace to be like a place I go swimming. It takes a while for me to get in, but eventually I am swimming and I am like a fish - and when I am in that state I can be productive and do good creative work. I need to be a “fish” to do good creative work - but my family needs me back on land. I always find it a very difficult thing to juggle - and often solve the problem by sleeping less, or by taking less time for my other interests.

This August I gave myself over to my family, and it felt good.

I am an introvert

It may come as a surprise to many that I am an introvert - but I am. I crave quiet and solitude as much as I need water and air. Now, introversion is one thing - I would require that even if I had no creative endeavors at all - but since solitude is also a fuel for my creative activities, that means there is less time for the kinds of solitude that I had before "Maritime Gardening" existed. I have always really enjoyed being alone, letting my mind wander, and contemplating various whims and other notions. Now, whenever I am alone, I have to fight against a feeling that I should be writing something, or filming something, or editing something. Those feelings intrude on my solitude, and hinder the restorative properties that it has on my mind.

This August, I indulged my introversion, and it felt good.

I like fishing

I love fishing. If I’m not doing it, I’m thinking about it. Last night, for example, since no one needed me for anything, I spent about three hours in my garage tying up striped bass rigs and mackerel fly rigs. Most people buy them, but I tie my own. It’s not just about saving money. I like learning and tying the knots. I like fine-tuning the lengths. I like modifying the hooks. I like choosing the swivels and beads. I like tinkering with my rods and reels. I like organizing my gear and kits. If you think you like fishing, but everything I just wrote sounds boring and tedious - you really don’t like it as much as you think you do.

I have been fishing since as far back as I remember. I love the sensation of setting the hook. I love feeling real weight at the end of the rod, and hearing the drag sing. I love leaving my house in the morning while it is still dark. I love watching the sun rise and set over the water. I love scouting out new spots. I love the satisfaction of making a meal and feeding my whole family with fish I have caught. I love fishing!!!

Fishing takes me away from the house for hours - and when I get back, I am totally spent , and content, and I just want to shower, eat, and take a nap. I do not want to sit at a desk.

This August I went fishing, and it felt good.

Final Thoughts

It is hard to explain the inter-workings of the creative mind, and of course, they are not all the same. Some are disciplined and regimented, and some are chaotic and disorganized. I oscillate between these two states. It’s like a battle between good and evil - but I am never sure what side is better. I need both to create. Both are good. Both are awful.

Maritime Gardening is a one-man show. I am that man - and it lives and dies according to my industry, effort and inspiration. Creating it out of nothing was fun. Keeping it running is different. I want it to work, and grow - but I don’t want it to feel like work. I have a full time job, and that does feel like work - and that’s all the work I want to experience in my life. After years of just slogging through the August doldrums, I tried something else and took a break… and it felt good.

For those that look forward to my weekly articles and other regular content, I’m sorry I let you down. I just needed a real break from it all and I hope you understand. Now it is September, I am renewed, and it is time to get back at it.

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…But more importantly, and to bring this back to gardening - the episodes where they encounter communities that are growing their own food are just foolish, because sometimes a whole community of about 50 people will appear to be being fed by one garden that is about the size of the one I have in my backyard!

I keep a garden because I enjoy fresh produce and I like saving money on food - but sometimes I wonder how much I could grow if I used it to its maximum potential in terms of caloric output. In this article I thought it would be fun to work that all out, and answer the question: could my family survive for a year solely on food grown in my garden - and if not, how big would it need to be for that to be possible?

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Caloric need

For the sake of this article I thought I would keep things very simple and just focus on calories. I know food and nutrition are more complicated than just calories, and one needs a balanced diet, with all the necessary proteins, vitamins, and minerals to be healthy - but if a garden can’t even prevent starvation, then it’s insufficient for any kind of survival - and basic survival is a calorie game.

According to a range of sources, the daily caloric need for maintaining body weight is from 2,000 to 3,000 calories for males, and from 1,600 to 2,400 calories for females. Every family is different, and I don’t want to offend anyone with any assumptions about what a “typical” family is - so for the sake of the calculations - I’ll use my family. There’s my wife, myself, my 16 year-old son, and my 14 year-old daughter. I’ll use the middle of the “caloric need” range for males and females - so that’s 2,500 for the boys, and 2,000 for the girls. So, given those assumptions, as a family unit, we need 9,000 calories a day to keep from starving to death, and thus, 3,285,000 calories a year.

Calorie crop

For the sake of this exercise, I will pretend that I am only growing calorie crops in my garden, and for the sake of simplicity I will use potatoes, since they are, arguably, the most productive and versatile calorie crop that can be grown in my growing zone1. Potatoes come in a range of size, but for the sake of calculations, lets say I’m able to grow “medium” potatoes, on average. Various sources suggest that medium potatoes (148g) will provide 110 calories of energy. Given my growing season, I can only grow one crop of potatoes a season - so in effect, I will need to grow enough potatoes to provide 3,285,000 calories to feed my family. At 110 calories per medium potato, that’s 29,864 potatoes a season to keep us going for a year. Can this be done in a 2,500 square foot garden?

Calories per square foot

My garden has many raised beds, and I try to make it look pretty because I like it that way - but for the sake of this thought experiment - let’s just say it is a big field of potatoes. According to a table from Michigan State University, you can grow about 60 pounds of potatoes in 100 square feet. Generally speaking, a medium potato is about 1/2 pound - so that’s 120 medium potatoes per 100 square feet. That sounds about right if you think about a 10’x10’ garden, all things being equal. This means that in my 2,500 square foot garden I can only expect to grow about 3,000 medium potatoes. And that means my family would not last long if it had to live off my garden. In fact, working up from that estimate, at 110 calories a potatoes, that’s 330,000 calories, which will only maintain us for just over a month. My garden would need to be almost ten times larger just to meet our caloric need!

It seems like an underestimate - but despite being a “calorie crop” - it takes a lot of potatoes to keep one going. For me, at 110 Cal per potato, with a need of 2,500 calories a day - that’s about 23 potatoes a day! This seems crazy given that we tend to view potatoes as starchy foods - but potatoes are mostly water (about 80%). So while we feel full after eating potatoes - that is mostly because are stomachs are full and are busy breaking them down. When that process is finished, we are only getting about a pound of “food” for every five pounds of potato - because four of those pounds are just water. That’s right folks - want a great diet where you feel full all the time, but still lose weight - look no further than the humble potato. A fella can eat 5 of them for breakfast, lunch and dinner and starve to death!

Final thoughts

It’s no wonder that humans live in groups - it’s tough making it on your own! Still, with intelligence, cooperation, planning, division of labor, and some basic rules for how to live together, it’s amazing what we humans can do. And it’s no wonder that we have held onto civilization dearly ever since it’s earliest iterations roughly 6,000 years ago. Amid rising food prices and growing economic uncertainty, it’s tempting sometimes to fantasize about going off-grid and being self-sufficient - but the reality is that it’s not an option for most of us. We need farmers, supply chains, and grocery stores to live. It’s not perfect and it’s an ongoing project. Perhaps some year it will be like Star Trek, and we can just tell the computer what we want, and it materializes out of thin air. Perhaps - but not any time soon I imagine. Until then, our gardens are just a nice way to supplement our food supply, and maybe save a few bucks here and there.

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Since it is late spring, and some of us are already starting to harvest some greens, I thought I would share a recipe for a vinaigrette using balsamic vinegar. Here's how to make enough for a salad for 4-6 people.

Ingredients:

• 2 tbsp oil (use whatever you have, I recommend olive oil)

• 1 tbsp sugar (use a little more or a little less depending on taste)

• 1 tbsp balsamic vinegar

• 1 tsp mustard

• 1/2 tsp salt

• 1/2 tsp pepper

• Pinch of herb (parsley/oregano/basil/etc.)

Directions:

1. Put everything in a jar

2. Allow 5 min for the salt and sugar to dissolve

3. Shake the jar vigorously

4. Put it on the salad and toss

Variations:

The ratios of the recipe above can be adjusted up or down depending on taste or how much is needed. If the salad is really big, add another tbsp of oil. With regard to the herbs, I recommend using just one herb so that it’s flavor can be distinct. If you absolutely hate mustard you can leave it out - but it really helps the dressing stay mixed because it is an emulsifier. Who knows - you may not mind it in a vinaigrette! Try 1/2 tsp and see what you think.

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Return on Investment

The question of whether it makes financial sense to buy a woodchipper is one of anticipated return on investment or "ROI" as it is referred to in the finance world. An ROI is a financial metric. In terms of a major purchase for a machine that makes something you would otherwise have to buy, the question is one of how many years it will take for the savings created by using the machine to equal the cost of buying the machine. To put that another way - it is a question of value. How many years will it take for the value created by the machine to equal or exceed the costs associated with owning and operating the machine. This can get complicated depending on how many items are being brought into the calculations, so we’ll keep it simple to start, and build from there.

1) Cost alone

I bought my used woodchipper for $750. I need about 4 cubic yards of woodchips a year. I can have 4 cubic yards delivered for about $250. So in principle, after about three years, the woodchipper will have paid for itself, having made $750 worth of woodchips.

The table above shows the “starting position” for each year, with the ending position carried over in the subsequent year to reflect gains or losses each year. As can be seen above, by the end of year three the ending position is zero - indicating that by that time, the value of the mulch made by the machine equals the cost of buying the machine - thus, a three-year ROI. Of course, this does not take into account fuel and maintenance.

2) Cost with inputs

Running a woodchipper requires fuel and maintenance. For fuel, I worked out that it takes about four liters (~1 gallon) of fuel to chip a cubic yard of mulch, so for four cubic yards that works out to $24 in gasoline. For maintenance, I estimated roughly $50 a year, reasoning that most years, only an oil change might be needed, but in some years, blades may need to be sharpened or replaced - so $50 serves as a rough averaging of those costs over time.

With those added costs worked in, we can see that it takes a little longer for the woodchipper to start paying for itself, and we’re not in the black until the end of year four - so that’s still not bad with a four-year ROI. If you consider all the time that is needed to feed branches into the woodchipper as just good outdoors exercise time that you would otherwise spend on a treadmill or doom-scrolling on Facebook - then a woodchipper might be a good idea for you - but what if a value is attached to that time?

3) Cost with inputs and time

No one pays me anything after 5pm - so my time outside of my day-job is kind of “worthless” in a sense. But for the sake of the exercise, lets pretend it is worth something. Let's say it's worth minimum wage - since that's what I would have to pay someone to feed a woodchipper, and that’s what I would make if I started working evenings at the local Burger King. So, at $16.00 and hour - and let’s say it takes 2 hours to gather enough brush and feed it into the woodchipper to make 1 cubic yard of woodchips - that's 2*$16 = $32 worth of time per cubic yard. So to make 4 cubic yards of woodchips it costs $128 at minimum wage.

Once time is factored into the calculations when using the lowest possible value in terms of wages to represent time-value, the time to ROI shifts dramatically. With all of that factored in, we now have a sixteen-year ROI. Sixteen years is a stretch for a used woodchipper - and since mine is relatively cheap anyway (cost about $1,150 brand new, all in, taxes included). I’m not confident that 16 years of minor maintenance would be enough to keep it running if it is grinding out 4 cubic yards of mulch a year. Most likely there would be other costs, extending the ROI further into the future, or perhaps into infinity. And this is not even taking into account depreciation, or opportunity costs. If you don’t enjoy spending hours of your life gathering branches and feeding them into woodchippers - then you are better off having them delivered.

Man plans and God laughs

I don’t speak Yiddish, and I have no idea if this translation of the old maxim is correct, but I heard it years ago when I was young, and have been repeatedly reminded of its wisdom many time since then. We simply do not know the future, and our best laid plans can never account for every possible contingency. And as it happens, while I was writing this very article - can you believe it - the woodchipper had a catastrophic breakdown. While I was feeding leaves through it, part of the impeller assembly broke off - and as that component found its way through the various other mechanisms, the machine rattled and shook as it tried to digest the indigestible, and then spit out various metal parts into the woodchip bag. Now the entire impeller needs to be replaced2. The part is made in China; the woodchipper company is in the USA, and I live in Canada3. If you have no appreciation for how intractable this problem is, at this particular point in time in history, given various complications with regard to international trade, I envy you. Suffice it to say, it will be quite some time before my Champion 338cc woodchipper is ever running again, and it will not be cheap to fix.

Final Thoughts

When I started writing this article I fully expected to be able to justify the purchase of a woodchipper, at least for some people, in some situations, and within a given price range. I feel I have done that to some extent. For people with lots of land and materials, and who like spending hours of their time doing physical work, who can get a good one for under $1000, it makes sense - assuming it does not have a design flaw that will lead to a catastrophic breakdown after very little use. Otherwise, I have to say that it probably makes better sense to just order large amounts when they are needed. It saves loads of time, will probably save money over the long run, and piles all the risks associated with owning and operating heavy machinery onto the professionals. An equitable trade in my opinion!

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